Conversations in Management
Golda
Meir knew what it was to have your heart rent. Born in
1898, the Russian pogroms caused her family to move to America.
They settled in Milwaukee where hints of her future role as
activist and leader were first apparent. Barely ten, she
organized the American Young Sisters Society and successfully
raised money to buy books for classmates that otherwise could
not afford them. After completing High School, she married and
with her husband moved to Palestine to work on a kibbutz. She
would spend the next two decades working for the creation of a
Jewish state. With Israel’s establishment in 1948, she
successively served as ambassador, Labor Minister, Foreign
Minister and, most famously, Prime Minister. But her political
success came at a cost. Though they never divorced, she was
estranged from her husband and always felt she neglected her two
children. She was never able to reconcile her sense of duty to
Israel with her duty to her family. It was something that always
rent her heart.
The
rending experienced by Golda Meir was a harbinger of what
would later be felt by large numbers of women Boomers. They were
the first generation to struggle with what we now call the
work-life balance. It was a struggle that often received little
sympathy from employers and male co-workers—to say the least of
spouses. As succeeding generations—X, Y, Millennials—entered
the workforce, however, attitudes began to change. Now dads as
well as moms experience that uncomfortable rending. The
anxiety is compounded by the fact that life always seems to be
speeding up. At work there’s the persistent demand to do more
(often with less) and to tangibly prove you’re a dedicated team
player. “Team play” is often interpreted as giving up more of
your time either through longer hours, taking work home or 24/7
electronic tethering. The “life” part of the equation isn’t any
less demanding—particularly if you have kids. There was a time
long, long ago when a parent’s greatest challenge was limiting
evening TV viewing. Now, the kids are as busy as the adults.
Their lives move at the speed of the Indy 500 as they dash
through school, homework, sports, community service (voluntarily
rather than as a condition of probation) and enrichment
activities. No wonder text messaging has become the mainstay of
their social lives—they don’t have time for anything else. Of
course, all this activity creates stressed-out kids who, in
turn, create stressed-out parents. And so the rending goes on.
It isn’t
realistic to believe that things will get better anytime soon.
Bosses everywhere will continue to perfect ways of snaring more
of your energy and kids will continue to perfect that
guilt-producing look. But you can push back—gently.
At the office you can try eliminating some of the time-wasters
that keep you from getting real work done. Extraneous
emails, phone calls and drop-in visitors devour time like some
folks devour chocolate. Declaring your workspace a gossip and
rumor-free zone alone would be like adding several hours to your
day! At home, build down-time into your routine—even if it means
your kids don’t participate in every conceivable childhood
activity. When you think about it, do the kids really need to
play simultaneously on three different ball teams? Un-programmed
family time can turn out to be your best time. It’s like getting
a HD view of one another instead of the more common blur. With
just a little less distraction at work and a little more time
with family we might find our lives are a lot less rent.
—Ebert
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